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	<title>Ego-Free Living</title>
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	<description>The 4 Most Important Mental Habits for Spiritual People</description>
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		<title>Ego-Free Living</title>
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		<title>Why do churches turn into country clubs?</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/why-do-churches-turn-into-country-clubs/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/why-do-churches-turn-into-country-clubs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 May 2008 17:31:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/?p=27</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Even though my progressive, non-fundamental Christian church is attended by a good number of new-age, non-theists mixed in with the more traditional folks, it amazes me how churchgoers lose sight of the reason why they attend church in the first place. Last time I checked, making a commitment to attend a house of worship and [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=27&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Even though my progressive, non-fundamental Christian church is attended by a good number of new-age, non-theists mixed in with the more traditional folks, it amazes me how churchgoers lose sight of the reason why they attend church in the first place. Last time I checked, making a commitment to attend a house of worship and be a part of a religious community usually means committing to walk a spiritual path. And committing to walk a spiritual path means living, acting, and thinking in all those feel-good ways that make us better people. In a world that is filled with pain, fighting, and oppression, church should be the one place we can go, to not only feel safe, but to practice expanding our capacity for understanding and compassion.</p>
<p>Members of these mid-size, neighbourhood churches naturally organize lots of fun extracurricular activities…like potlucks and rummage sales and choirs and card parties.  But over time, what seems to happen is that people participate in these social events without any element of spiritual responsibility and the church becomes akin to a country club! (Perhaps I’m naïve in thinking that everyone has come to church for spiritual progression and maybe there are many who are simply there for the weekly card party.)</p>
<p>Whatever brought them to church, people sadly forget that first and foremost, this is the place where they are supposed to pray and meditate and constantly dig deeper to know themselves better. Instead, the church becomes a hotbed of gossip, mistrust, and backstabbing. Various dramas, factions and mini-wars break out that are microcosms of all that is wrong in the world.</p>
<p>I remember <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_McLeod" target="_blank">Bruce McLeod</a> once making the point that prayer is really about <em>listening</em> for God. I can’t remember his exact words, but it seemed to me that his point was to be wary of intercessionary-style prayer intended to change the way <em>other</em> people are acting. The point being that it is our responsibility as so-called spiritual or religious people, to listen for the voice of reason (non-ego) within us that is our <em>truest</em> nature&#8211;compassion, love, understanding&#8211;and to consider how to change the way <em>we</em> are acting (or reacting).</p>
<p>We spend a lot of time and energy at my church talking about how to attract &#8220;the younger generation&#8221; to church. How to keep the church alive. We come up with lots of great ideas, new programs, hip branding. The problem is, until we get our shit together as individuals and as representatives of a spiritual community, who would want to hang out with us?</p>
<p>As an example of how wonderfully explicit church can be in this lesson (which never happens often enough for me in a Christian church), here is one of my favourite sung prayers:</p>
<p>God be in my head<br />
And in my understanding<br />
God be in my eyes<br />
And in my looking<br />
God be in my mouth<br />
And in my speaking<br />
God be in my heart<br />
And in my thinking<br />
God be at my end<br />
And at my departing.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qif2rfBmcTA" target="_blank">H. Walford Davies</a> - click for a nice video</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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		<title>Adventures in self-publishing</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/adventures-in-self-publishing/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/adventures-in-self-publishing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:27:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[recommended]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-publishing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/?p=26</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I promised to tell about my adventure in self-publishing my book. I decided to take this approach after a couple of years of rejection letters from publishers and agents, plus reading and hearing about how political the book publishing world is and that your chances of winning the lottery were probably better than getting [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=26&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So I promised to tell about my adventure in self-publishing my book. I decided to take this approach after a couple of years of rejection letters from publishers and agents, plus reading and hearing about how political the book publishing world is and that your chances of winning the lottery were probably better than getting a book deal. I had actually never even thought of the idea of self-publishing until my friend <a href="http://anotherdoubleh.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">hh</a> said, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you try self-publishing?&#8221; I starting Googling the topic and lo and behold there were all kinds of print-on-demand, self-publishing companies with tidy, all-inclusive, self-publishing packages. All I needed was a click-enter on my VISA number and I&#8217;d be a published author! Who knew?! I&#8217;m getting too old for this hitting-the-pavement stuff.</p>
<p>So I scoured the various options and chose <a href="http://www.iuniverse.com" target="_blank">iUniverse&#8217;s</a> &#8220;Premier&#8221; package for around $800 bucks. Their web site impressed me with the most complete and helpful information, plus they had strategic alliances with Barnes &amp; Noble and Amazon so your book gets sold through those channels.</p>
<p>My manuscript was basically finished so all I needed to do at that point was clean it up to match iUniverse&#8217;s editorial guidelines and hit the submit button. Everything is handled by email (&#8220;Only about 10% of our communication will be by phone&#8230;&#8221; they tell you) and the process is pretty fast. They have a schedule of when things get done and are pretty good about sticking to it. I think there was only one time when I had to follow up on a delay. Once you get started, they assign a single &#8220;PSA&#8221; (Publishing Services Associate) to you, so you only have to deal with one person. Although this drops off instantly the second your book is finalized and published. Now whenever I have a question I get bounced around to new associates and have a hard time getting my questions answered. More on that later&#8230;</p>
<p>So after you submit your manuscript, you wait about 3 or 4 weeks and then you get an &#8220;Editorial Evaluation&#8221; by email which is an impressively thorough review of your book, your marketing copy, and your title. The feedback I got was both encouraging&#8211;they felt the book was marketable&#8211;and constructively critical. There was a slew of great suggestions, but they were pretty tough on me, and I ended up doing a complete re-write of the entire book.</p>
<p>The nice thing about the process was that you could move it along as quickly or as slowly as you wanted. You can do the whole thing in about four months or you can take up to a year to complete your book. After the next submission, my booked moved into the typesetting and design phase and here&#8217;s where things took a bit of a turn from the blissful self-publishing path I&#8217;d been on.  The typesetting of the manuscript was done quite nicely&#8230;a fair bit of back-and-forth ensued with the occasional mistakes on their part that I suppose is to be expected. However, the disappointing part was the cover design. It was really awful. Very basic, ugly font, ugly colours. It looked like they used a template and just dropped my book title into it.  They give you a second kick at the can as part of the package price, so I sent them a mock-up idea and a bunch of sample book designs and colours that I liked. The second version they produced was an exact and very basic set up of my mock-up (which was meant to just give them a few ideas).</p>
<p>I was pretty frustrated at this point because what good is a book if you have a crappy cover, so I actually had to hire my own graphic designer and shell out another $300 bucks to get a decent cover design. Luckily, in my corporate writing business, I work with a wonderful designer from Guelph, Ontario named <a href="http://www.writedesign.ca" target="_blank">Art Kilgour</a>. He did a beautiful cover design for me that I am really pleased with.</p>
<p>Throughout the publishing process, iUniverse was very good about asking for feedback on their services, which I diligently provided in written form two different times. In both surveys I mentioned my problem with the cover design and how I had to solve it by spending more money separate from their publishing package. I told them I wanted someone to follow up with me and discuss the situation. I heard nothing. I also sent two different emails to two separate PSA&#8217;s and they did not respond to either of those complaints. When I get a chance, I&#8217;ll try to press them further and let you know what happens.</p>
<p>All in all not a bad experience and I&#8217;m happy with my first book. However, next time I will probably try a different company because of the cover design issue and the lack of customer service follow-up by iUniverse. &#8211;C</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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		<title>Guy Talk</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/guy-talk/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/guy-talk/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:30:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[recommended]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men's issues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/?p=25</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hey guys&#8230;if you&#8217;re in the Toronto area or within listening range of 1010 CFRB check out a new radio show launched in April called Guy Talk. From their own description: &#8220;The underlying premise of Guy Talk rests in the question: Why Won’t Men Grow Up?&#8221; Well&#8230; I don&#8217;t need to add anything more to that!  [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=25&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey guys&#8230;if you&#8217;re in the Toronto area or within listening range of 1010 CFRB check out a new radio show launched in April called <em>Guy Talk. </em>From their own description: &#8220;The underlying premise of Guy Talk rests in the question: Why Won’t Men Grow Up?&#8221; Well&#8230; I don&#8217;t need to add anything more to that!  The creator/hosts of <em>Guy Talk</em> are Dale Curd and Owen Williams, both private practice counsellors in the Beach area of Toronto. I know Owen because my partner and I had a couple of sessions with him during the first year we lived together that saved us from nearly killing each other. I&#8217;ve worked with my share of counsellors and therapists over my many years of bad relationship choices and horrific shared parenting conflicts, and Owen is probably the smartest, most effective therapist I&#8217;ve ever met. Wish I would have met him years ago. He is stunningly wise about couple behaviour and does a lot of work on men&#8217;s issues, as does Dale Curd.  Check out <a href="http://www.cfrb.com/shows/691418#fromtheshow" target="_blank">Guy Talk</a>, Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. &#8211;C</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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		<title>Marianne</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/marianne/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/marianne/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:06:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[recommended]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[A Course in Miracles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marianne Williamson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/?p=24</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;re into spiritual studies and you&#8217;ve never heard of Marianne Williamson, read on because you should check out this amazing spiritual guru. Marianne&#8217;s been on the book-writing and speaker circuit consistently since the early 80&#8242;s. Back then I lived in New York City, and she used to speak at the Town Hall theatre every month. Me [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=24&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you&#8217;re into spiritual studies and you&#8217;ve never heard of Marianne Williamson, read on because you should check out this amazing spiritual guru. Marianne&#8217;s been on the book-writing and speaker circuit consistently since the early 80&#8242;s. Back then I lived in New York City, and she used to speak at the Town Hall theatre every month. Me and some co-workers at my night job would jump on the subway over our dinner break and rush downtown to catch as much as we could of her lecture. Yes, she&#8217;s now become pretty commercial and she&#8217;s one of &#8220;Oprah&#8217;s Friends,&#8221; but the real treat is listening to Marianne speak. For the past 30 or 40 years, she&#8217;s been preaching spiritual concepts from <em><a href="http://www.acim.org" target="_blank">A Course in Miracles</a> </em>&#8211; an inspiring and radical book about dissolving the spiritual ego, unconditional love, and universal peace. Marianne has an incredible energy when she lectures. She never refers to any speaking notes and can easily evangelize on The Course non-stop for 60 or 90 minutes straight. When she takes questions from the audience or you hear her on radio Q&amp;A shows, she tells it like it is and cuts right through a person&#8217;s ego nonsense. Check out <a href="http://marianne.com" target="_blank">Marianne&#8217;s web site</a> to see if she is lecturing near you or you can also hear her on <a href="http://www2.oprah.com/xm/mwilliamson/mwilliamson_main.jhtml" target="_blank">XM radio</a> at different times throughout the day and Sunday mornings from 5 a.m. to 10 a.m. (eastern) &#8212; C</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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		<title>Blood Boil</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/12/blood-boil/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/12/blood-boil/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:49:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/?p=23</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was watching myself get upset over something my partner did this week and I could see that every time I replayed the scene of his transgression, I got more emotional. It made me think of the expression, &#8220;makes my blood boil.&#8221; That&#8217;s literally what it feels like. A kind of electrical wave pulsing through my system [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=23&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was watching myself get upset over something my partner did this week and I could see that every time I replayed the scene of his transgression, I got more emotional. It made me think of the expression, &#8220;makes my blood boil.&#8221; That&#8217;s literally what it feels like. A kind of electrical wave pulsing through my system that makes me breath a bit faster, pulse speeds up, and a little angry ego-man forms and rises up in the pot of my boiling blood. But then I realized that liquid only boils when heat is applied to it. The blood doesn&#8217;t boil on its own. A dial got turned and started the electrical current. The heat spark was the scene replaying over and over in my mind until the element got hot enough to reach the boiling point. Even if I wanted to turn it off, my ego was there saying, &#8220;No, no, don&#8217;t turn it off, it feels great! He&#8217;s the one who turned it on!&#8221;  But I know it&#8217;s not true. No one has that degree of control unless I give them permission. There&#8217;s a split second moment after someone does something that I&#8217;m faced with a crucial choice. I can play the victim&#8211;let the heat rise and say it was their hand on the dial&#8211;or face the truth and admit to myself that it is always my own hand. &#8211;C</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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		<title>A book and a blog is born</title>
		<link>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/hello-world/</link>
		<comments>http://egofreeliving.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/hello-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:23:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-publishing]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I recently self-published my first book called Ego-Free Living: the 4 Most Important Mental Habits for Spiritual People.  I promptly plunked down $20 bucks a month on a website to promote the book and dabbled with Google AdWords a bit to the tune of $350 bucks when I decided to scrap the traditional web route [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=egofreeliving.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3415474&amp;post=1&amp;subd=egofreeliving&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I recently self-published my first book called Ego-Free Living: the 4 Most Important Mental Habits for Spiritual People.  I promptly plunked down $20 bucks a month on a website to promote the book and dabbled with Google AdWords a bit to the tune of $350 bucks when I decided to scrap the traditional web route and set up a business blog instead.  That way I could offer online sales for the book plus ramble on occasionally about what I think might be interesting to people vis a vis the concepts in the book. I may also talk about my experience self-publishing since other writers might be interested to know about that. Anyway, nuf said&#8230;hope you like my book blog. &#8211; C</p>
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			<media:title type="html">carol</media:title>
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