Guy Talk

Hey guys…if you’re in the Toronto area or within listening range of 1010 CFRB check out a new radio show launched in April called Guy Talk. From their own description: “The underlying premise of Guy Talk rests in the question: Why Won’t Men Grow Up?” Well… I don’t need to add anything more to that!  The creator/hosts of Guy Talk are Dale Curd and Owen Williams, both private practice counsellors in the Beach area of Toronto. I know Owen because my partner and I had a couple of sessions with him during the first year we lived together that saved us from nearly killing each other. I’ve worked with my share of counsellors and therapists over my many years of bad relationship choices and horrific shared parenting conflicts, and Owen is probably the smartest, most effective therapist I’ve ever met. Wish I would have met him years ago. He is stunningly wise about couple behaviour and does a lot of work on men’s issues, as does Dale Curd.  Check out Guy Talk, Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. –C

Blood Boil

I was watching myself get upset over something my partner did this week and I could see that every time I replayed the scene of his transgression, I got more emotional. It made me think of the expression, “makes my blood boil.” That’s literally what it feels like. A kind of electrical wave pulsing through my system that makes me breath a bit faster, pulse speeds up, and a little angry ego-man forms and rises up in the pot of my boiling blood. But then I realized that liquid only boils when heat is applied to it. The blood doesn’t boil on its own. A dial got turned and started the electrical current. The heat spark was the scene replaying over and over in my mind until the element got hot enough to reach the boiling point. Even if I wanted to turn it off, my ego was there saying, “No, no, don’t turn it off, it feels great! He’s the one who turned it on!”  But I know it’s not true. No one has that degree of control unless I give them permission. There’s a split second moment after someone does something that I’m faced with a crucial choice. I can play the victim–let the heat rise and say it was their hand on the dial–or face the truth and admit to myself that it is always my own hand. –C